Luckily, there is help on the way. Just as we can call 'Animal Control' to come rid us of too many stray cats....we now have a
'Vampire Control' service to assist us with these pesky blood suckers. They won't come do the dirty deed for you....BUT, they will provide you with all the necessary tools you'll need to send these creatures of the night screaming back into dark shadows from whence they came.
Check out proprietor Major Thadeus Tinker’s exclusive Vampyric Infestation Emergency Kit!
The Vampyric Infestation Emergency Kit contains all the necessary Vampire vanishing devices one needs to do the job right. There is a mirror to identify the beasts, garlic, holy water which burns at their skin, and a wooden crucifix to shoo them away. There’s also salt to make them feel uncomfortable while they sleep in their caskets and your very own pair of vampire fangs to disguise yourself while working. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and start exorcising that Cullens Clan before they reproduce and multiply. They say this works equally well on all those eyeliner wearing Vampire wannabes inhabiting the local Hot Topic stores as well....so order yours from Major Tinker's Emporium today! :o)
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6 comments:
Funny, I just borrowed from the library a book titled "The Vampire Survival Guide", which I intend to blog about (but maybe closer to Halloween, or at least Autumn). I am glad there are still some people who consider them as dangerous predators, and not angsty lovestruck teens who happen to drink blood.
So funny! Well only if you are not a Vampire!
That sounds like a good book Guillaume. Looking forward to hearing all about it. I must admit, that I am NOT a Twilight fan. Give me a vampire like Gary Oldman in Bram Stokers "Dracula" any day!
And yeah Becca...I don't think the Vampires will find the kit or my post amusing. :o)
Anything that rids the world of vampires sounds good to me :)
@Wendy-Well, I don't want to disappoint you or cause a controversy, but I hate, hate, hate Coppola's Dracula and, while I usually really like Gary Oldman, I found his Dracula utterly unconvincing. He is the kind of actor who would have made a great Renfield, but he was no Dracula.
Oh you can't disappoint me Guilluame. I am a firm believer in 'different strokes for different folks'! And I welcome your views whether of agreement or dissent. I'm always eager to hear different opinions.
I did like Gary Oldman in that part. But you have to realize that Bram Stoker's Dracula is the very first Dracula film I saw. So I wasn't privileged to the old Dracula movies that very well may have shaped how I would compare all the rest that came after. (I loved the look they gave him while in London especially.) Maybe it's more of a girl thing as to why I liked him, not really sure. But as the first Dracula I'd seen...I guess he was convincing enough for me...ha!
I did hate Keanu Reeves in the film though, because I don't like him as an actor period. But I do not even pretend to be a purveyor of the best Draculas because I've not seen enough to compare. Sad but true. So I'd welcome any suggestions as to ones I should be sure to check out. :o)
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